Autistic Meltdown or Temper Tantrum?

I know that most people mean well, but I have seen and heard many comments in person and online that show that many have grave misconceptions about people with autism. So allow me to clarify two that I’ve heard often enough to address:

1. Autism (ASD) is NOT the same as intellectual disability (ID, formerly known as mental retardation). Most people on the spectrum actually have average to above average IQs. Some people with ASD also happen to have ID but they are not one and the same. ASD presents with communication and language challenges, so we often have to find alternative ways of teaching our children with ASD. Just because it may take a little bit longer doesn’t mean that they can’t or won’t learn. Becca is now at a point that she can sort by color, she can identify some body parts, she can identify shapes in a book, she can match and can complete puzzles. We had to learn and use nontraditional ways of teaching these to her because of her challenges with language. But she is learning - and learning rather quickly, and even starting to say words here and there. God is good!

2. An autistic meltdown is NOT the same as a temper tantrum. They may look similar, but you can’t address an autistic meltdown the way you address a temper tantrum. And parents of children on the spectrum can tell the difference between the two.

A meltdown is usually the result of a sensory trigger, some sort of overstimulation, anxiety, change in routine, or frustration over challenges with communication. The child might cry, scream, engage in self-harming behavior, pace, flap, lash out, or withdraw. The best way to address these is to try to prevent them in the first place by avoiding sensory overload or giving your child alternate ways of communicating his/her needs. But if the meltdown still happens, it’s important to reduce sensory stimulation and to keep the child safe while the meltdown runs its course.

Of course every child is different so it’s important to know what works for each individual. But a meltdown is NOT a tantrum, you can’t discipline it away, and it isn’t an issue of simply “being a stronger parent” or “not spoiling your child”.

Knowledge is power, and it is never supportive to imply, albeit inadvertently, to a parent that they are the cause of their child’s delays, meltdowns, or other neurodivergent behaviors.